May 21st What symmetry

 

May 21^st What symmetry

 

There is an amount of pleasure in symmetry, it is gentle, satisfying and ordered.

Like a wet picture folded over and copied on the other side of the page; it is meant to be.

It is chaos restructured, recreated into a natural duality. Like a butterfly.

 

When I was 13 years old, probably the Autumn term of 1965

London Colney Secondary Modern School put on a talent contest.

For the pupils to perform a show

In front of perhaps two hundred fellow pupils and parents.

I was a shy, reserved and quiet, immature little boy.

I had not read much (I was soon to devour science fiction hungrily),

I had not embraced popular culture (not even The Beatles, they came into my life much later).

I knew little about the big world out there.

But I fancied myself as a singer, and put my name down to perform.

To perform solo on stage. I was not afraid;

Too young to really know what it would mean,

I had no sleepless worried nights about it, not that I remember.

I do remember not knowing what to perform.

I had narrowed it down to two songs. ‘It’ll be me’ and ‘The Young Ones’.

I had practised both of them over and over at home

And had even mimicked the curled lip smile of Cliff.

I had no idea how to perform, how to organise the music.

Whether to sing without music or to mime… or what…

I didn’t make up my mind til I was about to go on stage which one to sing/mime

Nervously asked the teacher “which one do you think I should do?”

Just before I went on.

He was aghast and presumably pushed me on stage, with the 45 single about to play as my music. And I mimed. And the performer, the 13 year old me, performer, took over.

What a buzz! What a disaster!

It got me recognised – recognised as I came off by such a pretty girl:

Who said: “that was so sweet”

And I was taunted the next day and I was ridiculed: “Oh look, there goes Cliff Richard!”

And for years after.

I went on to be in two school productions: ‘1066 and All That’ and ‘Toad in Toad Hall’.

I still remember bits of them.

But I did not perform on stage again for another 22 years.

Those school days are left behind.

 

When we moved to Letchworth in 1988 we soon became involved in Maggie’s Scouting,

We went to church.

In 1989 a Sunday service had leaflets for a new theatrical group

That was starting up to raise funds for a new Community Hall.

And I fancied myself as an actor. But this time, this time, 24 years on, I was prepared.

It was the time of the Poll Tax debacle that eventually brought the government down.

It was every bit as divisive as Brexit would become. Civil disruption, demonstrations and chaos.

And me.

Dressed as a Shakespearean actor with a scroll  (for prompting, in case I needed it… I didn’t)

And a stage prop: a very lifelike, skull

I re-did several put-together soliloquys;

Coming through the side door shouting ‘now is the very witching hour of night’…

Once on stage I launched into: ‘to pay or not to pay’

I was a sensation.

No, I wasn’t. Nobody remembers.

But I have a cassette tape of the night and on reflection I wasn’t too bad, not bad at all.

WHAT started and I was on stage hundreds of times in the 30 years that followed.

 

The symmetry.

Ah yes.

 

When Brian, our last producer took over

We used a Cliff Richard song that would become our signature.

And ended every Show.

 

I was in dozens of Shows with WHAT and Letchworth Gang Show;

Played Robin Hoods, ugly sisters, a little old lady, leading principal boy,

Abanaza, dressed as a gorilla, got married on stage, fell over,

fell in love and sang my heart out many, many times.

  

The Young Ones. It was the first and the last song I performed on stage.

WHAT ceased performing shows in 2020.

I will never go on a stage again.